Message to Dear God from the innocent

Message to dear god

clever wife

link

Paris Hilton coup

Don't be fooled by the superficial interpretation from the gossip magazines and blogs, which all came to the conclusion that Paris Hilton confessed her non-smartness eventually.

In reality, the heiress engineered a perfect coup.

Facts:

1. "Paris Hilton pulled me aside at a party. 'I'm being extorted by Darnell Riley for $20,000 a month and he's threatened to kill me if I don't pay,'"Francis quoted the hotel heiress during a cross-examination at Riley's preliminary hearing.
2. The anemsia of Paris, covering by the now-famous "not so smart" comment, make the whole case very suspicious. It is almost certain that Paris was hiding some facts from the police. But why?
3. In Dateline, it was said Riley also kept a tape of Paris (with a girl?)
4. Outside court, Francis claimed Riley was bilking at least 10 other high-profile victims at the time, but said none would step forward due to the threat of physical harm.

Putting two and two together, it is not difficult to see what actually happened

1. Riley extorted Paris for $20k a month
2. Hilton overheard that Joe Francis was another victim
3. She determined to use Joe to get rid of Riley, and revealed to Riley the name of Riley. She carelessly told Francis of her own reason of getting Riley (but later regretted)
4. Realizing she could get rid of Riley without getting herself wet, or more likely, blackmailed or reached a deal with Riley's accomplice on similar terms, Paris decided to only reveal Riley.
5. Hence the infamous "not so smart" quote, to protect herself, and the Riley accomplice

In other words, Paris successfully got rid of her extorter Riley by using Joe Francis' case, basically without getting herself involved at all. In her secret deal with the Riley gang, she was probably also able to get back her own tape by keeping some of the truth. The police officer, on the other hand, appreciated Paris' contribution in solving the case and was happy to let her off the hook. Who says she is not smart?

Prius Printer

oooooouch!

http://www.oooooouch.com/

clever crow

http://www.boreme.com//boreme/funny-2006/clever-crows-p1.php

Dick fiction

Bush goes to Hell and got a choice

George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to Hell where the Devil is waiting for him.

"I don't know what to do," says the Devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you. But you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three people here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place.
I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."

George thought that sounded pretty good so he agreed.

The devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed over and over and over, such was his fate in Hell.

"No!" George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."

The Devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.

"No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!" commented George.

The Devil opened a third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton lying naked on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.

Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."
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The Devil smiled and said, "Monica, you're free to go!"

Bathroom of Lost Fun

As seen on Break.com

Poor students

WMD aka Bird Cage Hill

part 1


part 2


part 3


part 4


part 5

zuiikin

• Huge
• Hu
• Ge
• WMD
• Niao
• Long
• Shan

Zuiikin English

Hasta la vista, baby!


Aerobic English!


Aerobic Japanese


Don't make fun of me

Fairy Tale - Guang Liang

download mp3 here

basketball move

http://boreme.com/boreme/media-movies/cool-basket.wmv

Bill Gates and 666

Now it seems more than speculation and co-incidence.
Bill Gates is pastafanian FSM

Intelligent donation

A whole class of new "intelligent" science

the New "Intelligent Falling' Theory :-)

I have always wondered why these bigot prevail in such a great country. If USA can become a great country despite these 'intelligent bigots', why are they bashing China's economic development despite not being democratic?

of course, "the onion" is only providing us some sense of humor.

biking dalmation, jerk it off my ipod shuffle, smart kids

biking dalmatian video


Jerk it off ? hilarious video


smart kids:

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.


TEACHER: Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
FRANK: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."


TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.


TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L"TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.


TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.


TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!


TEACHER: Goss, why do you always get so dirty?GOSS: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE: I is...
TEACHER: No, Millie... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."


TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.


TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.


TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy this?
CLYDE: No, teacher, it's the same dog.


TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.

pseudo-science bigotry: cow gases pollute air?

"Every year, the average dairy cow produces 19.3 pounds of gases, called volatile organic compounds, the San Joaquin Valley Air Pollution Control District said. Those gases react with other pollutants to form ground-level ozone, or smog......"This is not some arcane dispute about cow gases," said Brent Newell, an attorney for the Center on Race, Poverty & the Environment. "We are talking about a public health crisis. It's not funny to joke about cow burps and farts when one in six children in Fresno schools is carrying an inhaler."" according to a LA Times report.

I have to say, to compare cow gas with truck/car smog is stupid. And comparing "organic waste" is the wrong measure. Car/truck produces inorganic waste, which are a lot more detrimental. how much of these 19.3 pounds of organic gases "react" with smog? if it is only 1%, then it means 0.193 pounds are effective. OTOH, I can assure you all cow gases are fully biodegrable, otherwise you would have found fossils of these gases.

What about human gases? There are 13 Millions people in LA areas, should everyone put on a gas-maske on the rear?

What the f*#@ does this attorney know about science? Bigotry at its new height.

Mexican Canteen

Twisted logic

In one episode of 'Cheers', Cliff is seated at the bar describing the 'Buffalo Theory' to his buddy Norm. I don't think I've ever heard the concept explained any better than this...
"Well you see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive drinking of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

What to do when you have left your key in your car

This may come in handy someday.

Good reason to own a cell phone: If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are home, call someone on your cell phone. Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the other person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the phone on their end. Your car will unlock. Saves someone from having to drive your keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other "remote" for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk).

Apparently someone tried it and it worked.

http://boreme.com/boreme/funny-2005/unlock-your-car-p1.php

viral links - check later for more

1) see here, some funny photoshop satire on W Bush.

2) download Thousand Hand Guanyin here, skip to 2:20 after you downloaded from this link. This is a performance by handicapped (I guess hearing or speech handicapped) dancers, in the closing ceremony of Para-Olympic in Greece, by the Chinese delegation

3) the Numa Numa dance (with subtitle) "arguably become one of the most famous online video clips", very cool Romania Techno song (Love under the Linden Trees) with NJ lipsinc dance. Gary Brolsma lipsync to a cool song in front of a webcam, downloaded 6.5 million times on internet in a couple months, then CNN, VH1 the rest is history...Then made into Wiki where you can find all you want to know about this phenomenon. Then hundreds of parodies were created, of which this is the one I like most (if you understand some Japanese you would appreciate more)

4) stupid ipod spoof: iPod flea

5) Monday sucks on polar ice sheet.

6) interesting photoshops

Internet music in China!

Indie song writers and singer finally arrives at the market in a big way!

Here is a great sample of the recent hits:

RIGHT CLICK THE LINKS TO DOWNLOAD
Mandarin: Mouse loves rice (老鼠爱大米 - 杨臣刚)
-- laoshu ai dami has become a cheerleader slogon:

• x x x x wo ai ni, jiu xiang lao shu ai da mi! (translated: X X X X I love you, just like mouse loving rice)

Cantonese: He dates me to Disneyland (他约我去迪斯尼 by kellyjackie 陈晓琪)
--an 18 year schoolgirl's amateur production became HK's internet hit

Mongolian, yes, mongolian: ji xiang san bao (Lucky Threesome, by burenbayaer; 吉祥三宝 by 布仁巴雅尔) is the best! (can anyone tell me the original in Mongolian?)
-- a Mongolian father's lullaby for his 3 year old girl became an internet hit in China, come back for Genghis Khan's grandchildren in pop. for a flash animation see here.

If you like the singers other songs can be found here.

blocked in China >()< !

So blogspot is blocked in China! (see here and here)
Now that google has established an office in China, can't they at least do something on it? e.g. split it into 2 sections, make all the censored content on another server/IP address?

I guess I just have to move my blogs somewhere else. :(

Google maps

The satellite images have covered some urban areas in the world now, including HK, Taiwansee link below for a view of Hong Kong Island

Click here

They also have a premium version, called earth.google.com, which will give you a 45 degree side view from a helicopter. You need to download a software and the free version resolution does not give good 45 degree view.

big mac index

Magazine The Economist (more recent articles)has been using the Bigmac index as an indicator for currency exchange. See here for a discussion on its relevance to RMB revaluation.

Below is an portion of the discussion copied from Economist.com. Due to copyright issues I should not copy the whole article.

"Burgernomics is based on the theory of purchasing-power parity, the notion that a dollar should buy the same amount in all countries. Thus in the long run, the exchange rate between two currencies should move towards the rate that equalises the prices of an identical basket of goods and services in each country. Our “basket” is a McDonald’s Big Mac, which is produced in about 120 countries. The Big Mac PPP is the exchange rate that would mean hamburgers cost the same in America as abroad. Comparing actual exchange rates with PPPs indicates whether a currency is under- or overvalued.

The first column of the table shows local-currency prices of a Big Mac; the second converts them into dollars. The average price of a Big Mac (including tax) in four American cities is $2.51. The cheapest burger among the countries in the table is once again in Malaysia ($1.19); at the other extreme the most expensive is $3.58 in Israel. This is another way of saying that the Malaysian ringgit is the most undervalued currency (by 53%), and the Israeli shekel the most overvalued (by 43%).



The third column calculates Big Mac PPPs. For instance, dividing the Japanese price by the American one gives a dollar PPP of ¥117. On April 25th the actual rate was ¥106, implying that the yen is 11% overvalued against the dollar.

Despite a single currency, the price of a Big Mac varies considerably within the euro area—from a bargain $2.09 in Spain to a beefy $3.12 in Finland. The average price (weighted by GDPs) in the 11 countries is euro2.56, or $2.37 at current exchange rates. The euro’s Big Mac PPP against the dollar is euro1 = $0.98, which suggests that the euro is 5% undervalued—considerably less than many market commentators claim.

....."

For full coverage from The Economist click here.